Falling Half in Love with Strangers

When Do I Get The Manual?


I love being able to express myself in writing.

It feels more accurate somehow than speaking words. Talking for me can sometimes feel like playing tennis with a colander; I mean, it’s possible, I can do it, but it’s not ideal. The ball goes over the net, but just about. It goes where I want it to go… more or less. I can’t be sure it’ll hit it’s mark, but I can hope. Later, I’ll go home and think about how I could have done it some other, better way.

Writing is different.

Writing is a tennis racket. When I’m writing, I have the time to think about what I’m trying to say, and then mentally flip through millions of words looking for the one that slots into my sentence like that Tetris block you’ve been waiting five minutes for; the one that gives you a combo and wipes the…

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forgive me, but

used to be all i would crave was sleep and solitude.

but now i find myself craving you.

being next to you. your smell, your touch.

i crave how i am with you.

bright, charming, hopeful, adventurous.

there are so many feelings, but never the right words.

i want to give you everything.

you give me everything, and you don’t even know it.

forgive me, but

i cannot help but to think that we

were made for more.


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there are times where I just sit and daydream about the sounds of the waves. something to calm my busy mind from the constant thoughts and emotions. a rest; a second of peace from the sweet torture of being able to feel everything that my eyes meet.

words are my lifeboat in these stormy seas. may you find some peace and rest beneath these waters.

i promise it won’t be all bad.